Mailing It In

This past weekend the UK’s Daily Mail did us a huge solid in our quest to Get Phil Collins Knighted. Those who ventured out of doors to grab their copy of the ultra-informative British daily were rewarded with their very own copy of an album of Phil Collins greatest hits as chosen by the readers, themselves.  Now, if thousands upon thousands being treated to a free album of top pop hits from a man who is every bit as noble as Dame Judy Dench and light years ahead of Rudy Giuliani (KBE), does not help to ignite a spark that turns into a full-fledged inferno of Phil Collins Knighthood fervor, then we’re  not sure what will.

We imagine it being only a matter of time, probably sometime in between track #1 (“In the Air Tonight”) and #2 (“You can’t hurry love”) when fans will be hit with the stark realization that they are listening to Phil Collins’ greatest hits and not “Sir Phil Collins” greatest hits. At this time they will be overcome with a strong sense of the cruel injustice that comes with  living in a world where someone as accomplished an artist as Phil Collins has to wait in the line of nobility behind people like that infamous FBI Cross-dresser J. Edgar Hoover and that nutty scientist who’s been spouting off about his fear of aliens of late.

We imagine the incensed masses will then lobby the Daily Mail to re-release the album as Sir Phil Collins’ greatest hits.  The “Mail” will refuse to do so until Mr. Collins has officially earned the honour.  The UK will be teetering on the edge of civil war as The Labour Party and The Tories take sides on the matter as partisan politics once again get in the way of what the people want. Ultimately, the Queen will settle this matter the only way she knows how, by dubbing our favorite drummer/frontman/pop singer Sir Phil of Collins…or more accurately a Knight of the British Empire.

In any event, we’d like to personally thank the Daily Mail for lighting a metaphorical match to help lead our way through the darkness that is our quest to get Phil Collins knighted. Your deeds have not gone unnoticed.

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  1. May 7, 2010 at 5:20 am

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