Archive

Archive for the ‘Impassioned Pleas Directed At Royalty’ Category

UK Government (Why You Want to Make Phil Collins Blue)

While we here at “One More Knight” have an entire 40-year career of moments at our disposal for those who might be burdened by the taxing decision of just who has earned a tacking on of the  titular “Sir”, nothing gives buoys our quest quite as  much as brand new evidence of Phil Collins‘ greatness. Not only do we find that it greases the gears with the UK government on pressing matters, but it also reinforces our belief that this wonderful performer is deserving of any additional accolades thrown his way. For while many once great entertainers drop off into the abyss or cling to the remnants of a fading career, Mr. Collins continues to churn out toe-tapping, pop gems.

The latest in the canon of Collins to attain “sight” status for our “sore eyes” (but ever-so attentive ears) is this clip for his cover of the 1964 Temptations classic “Girl (Why You Want To Make Me Blue).”  Phil treats the material with reverence, while seemingly giving the piece a whole new meaning…to us anyway. We took the titular “Girl” to mean the British Government or Monarchy, and we translated the “Why You Wanna Make Me Blue” parenthetical to mean, “why haven’t you bestowed me with the knighthood just yet.”

It’s true that we, like most people, tend to extrapolate a lot of what we want to hear from popular music, though we’re pretty sure we nailed this one. So we hope that the UK Parliament and Royal Family is listening to Phil’s veiled (or not-so-veiled) message in this song and take it into strong consideration. After all, it seems rather cold the thought of wanting to make Phil Collins blue by not bestowing knighthood upon him, doesn’t it?

The la

The Staying Power of Phil Collins

September 30, 2010 1 comment

When we last bombarded the blogosphere with our message of Phil Collins’ greatness, we were in the throes of a torrid summer where Phil’s influence was making vast improvements on Katy Perry’s buxom ubiquity.With summer having quietly faded from memory and the shedding of leaves an imminent certainty, there was little doubt in our hearts, minds and musical sensibilities that the Genesis frontman, distinguished drummer, and accomplished solo artist would find a way to put a stamp on our Autumn just as he had our time on the beach.

We didn’t have to wait long after the Autumnal Equinox for Phil to start resonating in season.  This past Tuesday his latest release, Going Back, climbed atop the UK albums chart– besting the Manics latest effort, Postcards from a Young Man.

While Phil’s album of Motown covers didn’t debut in the #1 spot last week, we here at “One More Knight” think the fact that the UK public were kind enough to buoy the admirable tribute to the sounds of the Rock Hall of Famer’s youth into a top seller is not only a testament to the quality of the album, but also evidence that despite a lengthy absence from the UK during times of Labor Party rule, there remains a soft spot amongst the Queen‘s subjects for the appreciation of a classic Rock ‘n’ Roll era that Phil Collins both celebrates and embodies.

The fact that Mr. Collins was able to secure his first #1 album since 1998’s Hits took a liking to the top spot is a testament to his staying power. While this staying power is easily explainable when you put on any of his album in Genesis or solo form, it remains a mystery that this staying power has yet to be recognized by the UK’s governmental powers that be. For someone who has been caressing our auditory cavities for upwards around 40 years with nothing but quality, having  yet to be tapped on the shoulder with the queen’s sword is not only an affront to music fans everywhere, but to the Order of the British Empire.

And so we make our repeated overture to both the Prime Minister’s office and to the esteemed royals of the United Kingdom, that on this day– the 40th anniversary of the day that Phil Collins joined Genesis –you reconsider your failure to honor Phil Collins with the titular “Sir” by “Going Back” through his catalogue and re-acquainting yourselves with his true genius. The error of your ways shall be realised and righted at that moment, provided your logical conclusion upon doing so is to bestow the correct honor upon his person.

Phil-anthropy

In the dictionary the word “philanthropy” is defined as, “An activity performed with the goal of promoting the well-being of fellow man.” We here at “One More Knight” find that word very appropriate for describing any number of the actions and activities carried out by one Phil Collins.  That being said, as  suitable as it would be to constantly refer to him as a “philanthropist” for all of the well-being he has bestowed upon his fellow man with countless musical and charitable contributions, the word still fails to appear aesthetically pleasant in its written or typed form— much like Phil Collins’ name when it is not accompanied by a titular “Sir.”

To remedy this problem we’ve chosen to create a new version of the word.  This version requires a hyphen to differentiate the fact that he who is being so generous to mankind is in fact named “Phil.” Seeing as there are very few people named Phil who are on par with Mr. Collins in the field of “philanthropy” (note: no hyphen here because we are talking about the general practice of Philanthropy) we can assume that any mention of “Phil-anthropy” (or a “Phil-anthropist“) does not require a specific mention of the surname of said extremely talented and giving individual and that it is indeed referring to Phil Collins.

We hope this new usage does not cause any confusion as it sounds identical to the previous version of the word.  However, speakers should feel free to pause between “Phil” and “anthropy” if they so please.

Now that we’ve introduced you to our new word, it’s only fair that we use the word in a proper context to better advise you of its usage. Pay close attention:

A great performer is engaging in a wonderful act of “Phil-anthropy” by offering fans a chance to win two free tickets to see him live in New York on June 25th at the Roseland Ballroom.  He is a great “Phil-anthropist.”

Roseland? June 25th?

Now that we’ve remedied the language problem that comes along with referring to Phil Collins and  acts of philanthropy in the same sentence; we suggest the British Government and Royal Family remedy the issue that comes up when one discusses Phil Collins and Knighthood in the same breath.  And if you live in the New York area, try to get your hands on those free tickets!

The Coast Has Never Been Clearer

Yesterday the Kingdom of Britannia received the two newest members into its noble ranks of Knighthood. Patrick Stewart of Star Trek and X-Men fame and Nicholas Hytner of the National Theater were dubbed “Sir” by Queen Elizabeth II in a ceremony marked by regal brilliance.  Though we’re not sure these two were more deserving of one Phil Collins when it comes to artistic accomplishment, we’re willing to forgo any undeserved mocking of their accomplishments, for they have not chosen to Knight themselves and cannot be faulted for having performed with such distinction so as to be nominated by admirers in governmental and royal positions of power.

That being said, the die has been cast and we here at One More Knight believe that the coast is now clear enough that further selections are due any time now to receive artistic honors wrapped in armor and chain mail and pronounced in one fell swoop of swordplay from an esteemed lady monarch.  We’re not exactly sure of the actual schedule for such declarations, but we know that when word does come down, we are confident it shall bear the name Phil Collins on a scroll of Magna Carta-esque parchment for all to read.

So we hereby plead with much reverence to both the Queen and the office of the Prime Minister, please make sure that it is so and LET’S GET PHIL COLLINS KNIGHTED!

Cracking The Curious Case of Sir Phil Collins Missing Knighthood

If it wasn’t already apparent enough to the readers of this site, our undertaking to get Phil Collins knighted should all but assure you that we have entirely too much time on our hands. While the vast majority of that allotted under the “too much time” category is spent listening to the contents of great albums like No Jacket Required and Duke; we occasionally slide into research mode so that we have additional things to blog about on our Internet journey to make Phil Collins’ future a noble one.

Seeing as we had done little in the realm of research as to the actual process of becoming a knight, we decided to seek out some helpful information…and what better place to find such helpful information than the official website of the Monarchy you have been pressing to make your dream become a reality (Rhetorical Question: The answer is there is no place better)? Our academic yearning and intuitive link-clicking abilities ultimately led us to this video on the subject of investitures (a fancy way of saying a presentation of rank, which also includes Knighthood):

While we were delighted to learn ever-so-much on the subject of bestowing rank and honour upon deserving individual, we were quite troubled by a particular voice over passage contained within. It read as follows:

“Honours recognize achievement in all walks of life and are given on the advice of the Prime Minister’s office”

Needless to say, this line stopped us in our tracks. Not only were we barking up the wrong tree by lightly haranguing the Royal Family over the past month, but it also helped explain why so much time has passed without Phil Collins getting the slightest sniff at a Royal promotion. Over the last 13 years it was on the advice of Labour Party that those decisions were made and it was that very same party taking power that caused Mr. Collins to flee for Switzerland 13 years ago.

Now, with the Tories and David Cameron in control of investitures, we assume Phil to be all but a shoe-in for at least the vaunted position of Knight Commander of the British Empire (KBE).

In closing, we’d like to apologize to the Queen and her family for any annoyance we may have caused. We may still harangue you from time to time, but only because we are certain you still hold a good amount of sway when it comes to recommending those deserving such distinction as Phil Collins does.

Oh, and Prime Minister David Cameron, we entreat you to look our way. There’s a singer/drummer/pop master without his proper title.

Get Phil Colllins Knighted E-mail Campaign

Dear Faithful Readers of One More Knight,

Now entering our fourth full week of existence, we’ve yet to garner the sort of response and reaction to this web campaign that would allow it to qualify as “viral.” To be honest, we thought the mere mention of getting Phil Collins Knighted in a simple Facebook group would ignite the Internet like a cigarette haphazardly tossed into some dry brush in the American West.

The reality of this whole “going viral” thing is that while some content on the Internet heats up in such a manner, most of the  content produced for the world wide web is more akin to a loud, incoherent message shouted into a space-like vacuum. Needless to say, we were a bit naive about the effects of metaphorically screaming our lungs out into that atmosphere-less abyss and our advances have mostly fallen on deaf ears like those of someone who has spent a good amount of time sitting a little too close to the kit during one of  Phil Collins’ killer drum duets with Chester Thompson.

Rather than hang our heads in shame and call ourselves a failure; we’ve founds ourselves coming down with a case of indefatigable moxie and boy do we hope it’s contagious. In order to better channel our vigorous resolve to accomplish, we’ve decided that today would be a good idea to launch the official One More Knight “Get Phil Collins Knighted” E-Mail campaign.

We’re encouraging all of our readers to spread the word by sending email blasts to your favorite blogs, respected newspapers, ,music periodicals and Monarchs (who can also be reached on twitter).  Let them know that you’d like to see Phil Collins Knighted, because only when you let your voice be heard do you really have the right to complain that the singer of “In The Air Tonight” has not yet become a Knight.

We’re going to get the ball rolling by reaching out to the Queen herself with our original post. So go forth and tell your friends and tell them to tell their friends that together we will get Phil Collins Knighted!

Thank you for your support.

Sincerely,

The Blokes Behind “One More Knight.”

p.s. Follow us on Twitter

Not To Be Confused With…

Dear British Royal Family,

We here at “One More Knight” have been trying in earnest to get Phil Collins knighted for just over a week now and while we know these things time, we wanted to make sure you had received our message of Knightly support loud and clear.  Though we are all fluent in the King’s English, at times like a game of telephone, even the most clarion of calls can get lost in translation.

As impassioned bloggers we like to think our knack for wordplay a linguistic delight that helps add to the charm of our cause, but in the midst of all of this wordiness the most important facts may get lost.  Whether or not the appointed Royal webmaster is able to translate all of the demands of a clamoring public accurately to her majesty is our utmost concern.  While said person most certainly has repeatedly read of our desire to see Phil Collins acquire greater honor than say a Billy Connolly or Ray Davies, we have the slight fear that when imparted to the Queen, a certain confusion takes root when in a faulty exchange, she hears that a bunch of Internet buffoons would like her to honor “Phil Collen.”

Phil Collen: Possibly Preparing to Slay A Dragon

Though we admit, the Def Leppard guitarist has worked on some stellar recordings, he simply doesn’t carry the cultural gravitas or have the innate musical ability of a Phil Collins.  They may have similar names and may both be performers, but that’s where the similarities end.  Phil Collins is deserving of Knighthood, whereas Phil Collen would probably have to slay a dragon to do so. So if anyone from the Royal Family is reading this, we should hope this clears up any misunderstanding (which also is the name of a killer Genesis tune).