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UK Government (Why You Want to Make Phil Collins Blue)

While we here at “One More Knight” have an entire 40-year career of moments at our disposal for those who might be burdened by the taxing decision of just who has earned a tacking on of the  titular “Sir”, nothing gives buoys our quest quite as  much as brand new evidence of Phil Collins‘ greatness. Not only do we find that it greases the gears with the UK government on pressing matters, but it also reinforces our belief that this wonderful performer is deserving of any additional accolades thrown his way. For while many once great entertainers drop off into the abyss or cling to the remnants of a fading career, Mr. Collins continues to churn out toe-tapping, pop gems.

The latest in the canon of Collins to attain “sight” status for our “sore eyes” (but ever-so attentive ears) is this clip for his cover of the 1964 Temptations classic “Girl (Why You Want To Make Me Blue).”  Phil treats the material with reverence, while seemingly giving the piece a whole new meaning…to us anyway. We took the titular “Girl” to mean the British Government or Monarchy, and we translated the “Why You Wanna Make Me Blue” parenthetical to mean, “why haven’t you bestowed me with the knighthood just yet.”

It’s true that we, like most people, tend to extrapolate a lot of what we want to hear from popular music, though we’re pretty sure we nailed this one. So we hope that the UK Parliament and Royal Family is listening to Phil’s veiled (or not-so-veiled) message in this song and take it into strong consideration. After all, it seems rather cold the thought of wanting to make Phil Collins blue by not bestowing knighthood upon him, doesn’t it?

The la

The Staying Power of Phil Collins

September 30, 2010 1 comment

When we last bombarded the blogosphere with our message of Phil Collins’ greatness, we were in the throes of a torrid summer where Phil’s influence was making vast improvements on Katy Perry’s buxom ubiquity.With summer having quietly faded from memory and the shedding of leaves an imminent certainty, there was little doubt in our hearts, minds and musical sensibilities that the Genesis frontman, distinguished drummer, and accomplished solo artist would find a way to put a stamp on our Autumn just as he had our time on the beach.

We didn’t have to wait long after the Autumnal Equinox for Phil to start resonating in season.  This past Tuesday his latest release, Going Back, climbed atop the UK albums chart– besting the Manics latest effort, Postcards from a Young Man.

While Phil’s album of Motown covers didn’t debut in the #1 spot last week, we here at “One More Knight” think the fact that the UK public were kind enough to buoy the admirable tribute to the sounds of the Rock Hall of Famer’s youth into a top seller is not only a testament to the quality of the album, but also evidence that despite a lengthy absence from the UK during times of Labor Party rule, there remains a soft spot amongst the Queen‘s subjects for the appreciation of a classic Rock ‘n’ Roll era that Phil Collins both celebrates and embodies.

The fact that Mr. Collins was able to secure his first #1 album since 1998’s Hits took a liking to the top spot is a testament to his staying power. While this staying power is easily explainable when you put on any of his album in Genesis or solo form, it remains a mystery that this staying power has yet to be recognized by the UK’s governmental powers that be. For someone who has been caressing our auditory cavities for upwards around 40 years with nothing but quality, having  yet to be tapped on the shoulder with the queen’s sword is not only an affront to music fans everywhere, but to the Order of the British Empire.

And so we make our repeated overture to both the Prime Minister’s office and to the esteemed royals of the United Kingdom, that on this day– the 40th anniversary of the day that Phil Collins joined Genesis –you reconsider your failure to honor Phil Collins with the titular “Sir” by “Going Back” through his catalogue and re-acquainting yourselves with his true genius. The error of your ways shall be realised and righted at that moment, provided your logical conclusion upon doing so is to bestow the correct honor upon his person.

Phil-anthropy

In the dictionary the word “philanthropy” is defined as, “An activity performed with the goal of promoting the well-being of fellow man.” We here at “One More Knight” find that word very appropriate for describing any number of the actions and activities carried out by one Phil Collins.  That being said, as  suitable as it would be to constantly refer to him as a “philanthropist” for all of the well-being he has bestowed upon his fellow man with countless musical and charitable contributions, the word still fails to appear aesthetically pleasant in its written or typed form— much like Phil Collins’ name when it is not accompanied by a titular “Sir.”

To remedy this problem we’ve chosen to create a new version of the word.  This version requires a hyphen to differentiate the fact that he who is being so generous to mankind is in fact named “Phil.” Seeing as there are very few people named Phil who are on par with Mr. Collins in the field of “philanthropy” (note: no hyphen here because we are talking about the general practice of Philanthropy) we can assume that any mention of “Phil-anthropy” (or a “Phil-anthropist“) does not require a specific mention of the surname of said extremely talented and giving individual and that it is indeed referring to Phil Collins.

We hope this new usage does not cause any confusion as it sounds identical to the previous version of the word.  However, speakers should feel free to pause between “Phil” and “anthropy” if they so please.

Now that we’ve introduced you to our new word, it’s only fair that we use the word in a proper context to better advise you of its usage. Pay close attention:

A great performer is engaging in a wonderful act of “Phil-anthropy” by offering fans a chance to win two free tickets to see him live in New York on June 25th at the Roseland Ballroom.  He is a great “Phil-anthropist.”

Roseland? June 25th?

Now that we’ve remedied the language problem that comes along with referring to Phil Collins and  acts of philanthropy in the same sentence; we suggest the British Government and Royal Family remedy the issue that comes up when one discusses Phil Collins and Knighthood in the same breath.  And if you live in the New York area, try to get your hands on those free tickets!

The Coast Has Never Been Clearer

Yesterday the Kingdom of Britannia received the two newest members into its noble ranks of Knighthood. Patrick Stewart of Star Trek and X-Men fame and Nicholas Hytner of the National Theater were dubbed “Sir” by Queen Elizabeth II in a ceremony marked by regal brilliance.  Though we’re not sure these two were more deserving of one Phil Collins when it comes to artistic accomplishment, we’re willing to forgo any undeserved mocking of their accomplishments, for they have not chosen to Knight themselves and cannot be faulted for having performed with such distinction so as to be nominated by admirers in governmental and royal positions of power.

That being said, the die has been cast and we here at One More Knight believe that the coast is now clear enough that further selections are due any time now to receive artistic honors wrapped in armor and chain mail and pronounced in one fell swoop of swordplay from an esteemed lady monarch.  We’re not exactly sure of the actual schedule for such declarations, but we know that when word does come down, we are confident it shall bear the name Phil Collins on a scroll of Magna Carta-esque parchment for all to read.

So we hereby plead with much reverence to both the Queen and the office of the Prime Minister, please make sure that it is so and LET’S GET PHIL COLLINS KNIGHTED!

A Little Phil Collins Goes A Long Way

May 14, 2010 1 comment

We here at “One More Knight” are pleased to announce that over the past twenty-four hours Phil Collins has gone viral. Unfortunately for us,it wasn’t our quest to get Phil knighted that captured the hearts and brief attention spans  of the world. Rather it was this video of the “Worst Wedding DJ EVER”:

Now we’ll be the first to admit, that without the audio excerpt of “In the Air Tonight” the video itself would be pretty funny if still accompanied by the conga line music. The audacity of the DJ in the breast-slapping department, though not necessarily our cup of tea (as our main comic interests lie mainly in high-brow humour), would in and of itself be grounds for uproarious laughter.

That being said, something magical happens when  Phil’s haunting masterpiece off his 1981 album Face Value replaces the wedding audio track so that his killer drum solo coincides with the actions of Stardust Entertainment’s resident mammary abuser. The video leaps into the stratosphere of comic timing and turns this ever-so-brief moment of ridiculousness into a classic web moment that will forever offer proof that just adding a little Phil Collins to the mix goes a long way.

We can only hope that those in the office of the Prime Minister get wise to this lesson imparted by the video editor when considering who to recommend for Knighthood.  Think about it Prime Minister Cameron; something magical is bound to happen when you add a little Phil Collins to the honourable rolls of the United Kingdom’s distinguished nobility. Your approval ratings will surely soar into the stratosphere just as adding Phil Collins’ music to that video sent it soaring into comedic legend.  What better way to ensure your spot in history as a beloved British Prime Minister than by turning up the volume with a little Phil Collins praise. We can feel it in the air tonight. Can you?

Cracking The Curious Case of Sir Phil Collins Missing Knighthood

If it wasn’t already apparent enough to the readers of this site, our undertaking to get Phil Collins knighted should all but assure you that we have entirely too much time on our hands. While the vast majority of that allotted under the “too much time” category is spent listening to the contents of great albums like No Jacket Required and Duke; we occasionally slide into research mode so that we have additional things to blog about on our Internet journey to make Phil Collins’ future a noble one.

Seeing as we had done little in the realm of research as to the actual process of becoming a knight, we decided to seek out some helpful information…and what better place to find such helpful information than the official website of the Monarchy you have been pressing to make your dream become a reality (Rhetorical Question: The answer is there is no place better)? Our academic yearning and intuitive link-clicking abilities ultimately led us to this video on the subject of investitures (a fancy way of saying a presentation of rank, which also includes Knighthood):

While we were delighted to learn ever-so-much on the subject of bestowing rank and honour upon deserving individual, we were quite troubled by a particular voice over passage contained within. It read as follows:

“Honours recognize achievement in all walks of life and are given on the advice of the Prime Minister’s office”

Needless to say, this line stopped us in our tracks. Not only were we barking up the wrong tree by lightly haranguing the Royal Family over the past month, but it also helped explain why so much time has passed without Phil Collins getting the slightest sniff at a Royal promotion. Over the last 13 years it was on the advice of Labour Party that those decisions were made and it was that very same party taking power that caused Mr. Collins to flee for Switzerland 13 years ago.

Now, with the Tories and David Cameron in control of investitures, we assume Phil to be all but a shoe-in for at least the vaunted position of Knight Commander of the British Empire (KBE).

In closing, we’d like to apologize to the Queen and her family for any annoyance we may have caused. We may still harangue you from time to time, but only because we are certain you still hold a good amount of sway when it comes to recommending those deserving such distinction as Phil Collins does.

Oh, and Prime Minister David Cameron, we entreat you to look our way. There’s a singer/drummer/pop master without his proper title.