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UK Government (Why You Want to Make Phil Collins Blue)

While we here at “One More Knight” have an entire 40-year career of moments at our disposal for those who might be burdened by the taxing decision of just who has earned a tacking on of the  titular “Sir”, nothing gives buoys our quest quite as  much as brand new evidence of Phil Collins‘ greatness. Not only do we find that it greases the gears with the UK government on pressing matters, but it also reinforces our belief that this wonderful performer is deserving of any additional accolades thrown his way. For while many once great entertainers drop off into the abyss or cling to the remnants of a fading career, Mr. Collins continues to churn out toe-tapping, pop gems.

The latest in the canon of Collins to attain “sight” status for our “sore eyes” (but ever-so attentive ears) is this clip for his cover of the 1964 Temptations classic “Girl (Why You Want To Make Me Blue).”  Phil treats the material with reverence, while seemingly giving the piece a whole new meaning…to us anyway. We took the titular “Girl” to mean the British Government or Monarchy, and we translated the “Why You Wanna Make Me Blue” parenthetical to mean, “why haven’t you bestowed me with the knighthood just yet.”

It’s true that we, like most people, tend to extrapolate a lot of what we want to hear from popular music, though we’re pretty sure we nailed this one. So we hope that the UK Parliament and Royal Family is listening to Phil’s veiled (or not-so-veiled) message in this song and take it into strong consideration. After all, it seems rather cold the thought of wanting to make Phil Collins blue by not bestowing knighthood upon him, doesn’t it?

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Phil-anthropy

In the dictionary the word “philanthropy” is defined as, “An activity performed with the goal of promoting the well-being of fellow man.” We here at “One More Knight” find that word very appropriate for describing any number of the actions and activities carried out by one Phil Collins.  That being said, as  suitable as it would be to constantly refer to him as a “philanthropist” for all of the well-being he has bestowed upon his fellow man with countless musical and charitable contributions, the word still fails to appear aesthetically pleasant in its written or typed form— much like Phil Collins’ name when it is not accompanied by a titular “Sir.”

To remedy this problem we’ve chosen to create a new version of the word.  This version requires a hyphen to differentiate the fact that he who is being so generous to mankind is in fact named “Phil.” Seeing as there are very few people named Phil who are on par with Mr. Collins in the field of “philanthropy” (note: no hyphen here because we are talking about the general practice of Philanthropy) we can assume that any mention of “Phil-anthropy” (or a “Phil-anthropist“) does not require a specific mention of the surname of said extremely talented and giving individual and that it is indeed referring to Phil Collins.

We hope this new usage does not cause any confusion as it sounds identical to the previous version of the word.  However, speakers should feel free to pause between “Phil” and “anthropy” if they so please.

Now that we’ve introduced you to our new word, it’s only fair that we use the word in a proper context to better advise you of its usage. Pay close attention:

A great performer is engaging in a wonderful act of “Phil-anthropy” by offering fans a chance to win two free tickets to see him live in New York on June 25th at the Roseland Ballroom.  He is a great “Phil-anthropist.”

Roseland? June 25th?

Now that we’ve remedied the language problem that comes along with referring to Phil Collins and  acts of philanthropy in the same sentence; we suggest the British Government and Royal Family remedy the issue that comes up when one discusses Phil Collins and Knighthood in the same breath.  And if you live in the New York area, try to get your hands on those free tickets!

Phil Collins’ Viral Spawn

A few weeks ago we here at “One More Knight” were delighted when a youtube video featuring the “Worst Wedding DJ EVER!” took the Internet by storm, complete with Phil Collins’ musical accompaniment. Breast slapping and “In the Air Tonight” once mutually exclusive pleasures had been combined for the ultimate exercise in comedic pleasure. The video stood quite well on its own and thankfully didn’t inspire an Internet meme of inferior moments.  It did, however, inspire one comic tribute featuring Jerry O’Connell and his better half, Rebecca (you have the right to) Romijn (Stamos).

Now we’ve never been great fans of Jerry O’Connell save for maybe his work as that pudgy kid in Stand By Me and on “Sliders“, but we did get a bit of a chuckle out of this parody of the wedding DJ video that did not really call for further parody. That being said, for a lazy, hot summer Friday…no Knighthood begging…just comedic entertainment. Enjoy.

The Coast Has Never Been Clearer

Yesterday the Kingdom of Britannia received the two newest members into its noble ranks of Knighthood. Patrick Stewart of Star Trek and X-Men fame and Nicholas Hytner of the National Theater were dubbed “Sir” by Queen Elizabeth II in a ceremony marked by regal brilliance.  Though we’re not sure these two were more deserving of one Phil Collins when it comes to artistic accomplishment, we’re willing to forgo any undeserved mocking of their accomplishments, for they have not chosen to Knight themselves and cannot be faulted for having performed with such distinction so as to be nominated by admirers in governmental and royal positions of power.

That being said, the die has been cast and we here at One More Knight believe that the coast is now clear enough that further selections are due any time now to receive artistic honors wrapped in armor and chain mail and pronounced in one fell swoop of swordplay from an esteemed lady monarch.  We’re not exactly sure of the actual schedule for such declarations, but we know that when word does come down, we are confident it shall bear the name Phil Collins on a scroll of Magna Carta-esque parchment for all to read.

So we hereby plead with much reverence to both the Queen and the office of the Prime Minister, please make sure that it is so and LET’S GET PHIL COLLINS KNIGHTED!

Mexican Gangs Love Phil Collins

We here at “One More Knight” realise the importance of keeping up the full court press when you have a goal as important  as getting Phil Collins Knighted, but all work and no play doth make Phil Collins fans dull boys and girls.  So being here in America, we on occasion do “as the Romans  do” (there’s a Rome in NY) and take a Holiday on days of note.  So we apologise for our absence over the Memorial Day weekend, but we’re not that sorry. We need to groove out to “I Cannot Believe Its True” and soak up the summer sun every once in awhile while keeping our distance from the world wide web.

That being said, it was an eventful weekend in the world of music and knighthood.  One of the most esteemed Knights of the musically talented table got into a bit of an incident down in old Mexico.  It seems Sir Paul McCartney had his tour bus attacked by a Mexican gang while rolling through Mexico City. Apparently they weren’t big fans of The Beatles or Wings.

Mexican Gangs Are Not Fans of 2 of These Guys at the Most

We’re not sure if they were jostling the music legend for a cut of Abbey Road royalties or if they’ve merely seen this website and wanted to send a message to the British Government that its time to invite a new music legend into the Knighthood by shaking up a member of the establishment. Either way, we don’t condone that kind of violence and we’re glad to see Sir Paul and his crew are OK, though we’re pretty sure this would’ve never happened to Phil Collins given his wealth of knowledge of past conflicts between Mexico and the United States.

We’re sure most Mexican gang members appreciate songs like “Illegal Alien” and “Sussudio” (which is the Spanish word for ‘really awesome song’),  The fact that Phil Collins can relate to such a diverse crowd with his music certainly makes a great case for letting him fill the esteemed position of Knight of the British Empire (KBE), For a noble should be a statesmen and love of Phil Collins music worldwide would no doubt qualify Mr. Collins as a master of diplomacy.  So maybe after he gets knighted, perhaps Sir Phil Collins should be made the official UK ambassador to Mexico. Lord knows, McCartney does not fit in there.

Phil Release

We here at “One More Knight” are big fans of being on the receiving end of any form of aural pleasure, but if that sonic satisfaction just so happens to be doled out by one Phil Collins, then all the better. If you’ve read this site in the past and you’ve  got memory enough to go back two days, you may remember that we were boasting of a delightful and FREE PHIL COLLINS tune from his latest album Going Back (due Sept. 10th), made available by simply signing up for email updates on his site.

While we’re completely satisfied with having one catchy Collins cover classic bouncing around in our head, you’ll hardly ever find us disagreeing with the statement that two is better than one (unless you’re in that cliched sitcom situation where you’ve scheduled two dates on the same night).   That’s why we were delighted to find that in addition to the song offered with email updates, Phil was offering a free listen to his first single off of his new album.  All we had to do was click on the button in the upper right hand corner of his site that looked this:

Needless to say, we did as commanded and had quite an enjoyable time going back to the times with Phil to those days when he was “young enough to know the truth.” However we disagree with the song’s notion that there are “no more trees to climb” since we look at our quest to get Phil Collins Knighted as an obstacle that may as well be a tree for our intents and purposes…and only when we manage to achieve our goal by proving the nobility of Sir Phil Collins will we have climbed that metaphorical tree .

Phil has certainly given us plenty of great evidence to support our claims.  If giving away two songs off  his upcoming album isn’t an act of charity worthy of the most valiant Knight, then pray tell what is?

Phil Collins Pop Quiz Hotshot

May 25, 2010 5 comments

We came across this gem of a game show from 1981 in which our man Phil Collins tests his musical knowledge against the likes of Sir David Gilmour (Pink Floyd), Sir Midge Ure (Thin Lizzy, Ultravox), and Ian Gillan with the help of relative unknowns (at least by today’s standards) Barry Mason and Elkie Brooks.  In the first clip Phil stumbles with identifying the names of specific dances, but he justified that by titling an entire Genesis album, “We Can’t Dance.”

The second clip provides us with an impressive peek at Phil’s encyclopedic knowledge of  The Yardbirds top ten hits.  Since we’ve always been of the mind that knowledge is power, perhaps that level of scholarship in regards to a stalwart of British musical influence shouldn’t go without powerful reward. We could justify asking for Phil’s Knighthood solely on the outcome of the game show, but since we couldn’t find footage of the final outcome we couldn’t say whether Phil and his co-horts actually bested the team with 2 Sirs…but I think we can happily assume that Phil pulled out all of the stops to ensure a victory and having thus bested two knights on the field of intellectual battle is every bit as deserving of such an honour.

We only hope the office of the Prime Minister has seen said clip.  And if they haven’t we expect our massive throng of readers to make them aware of it by tweeting this post to them.

We thank you for your time faithful friends for helping us in the good fight to GET PHIL COLLINS KNIGHTED.