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Posts Tagged ‘Investitures’

The Coast Has Never Been Clearer

Yesterday the Kingdom of Britannia received the two newest members into its noble ranks of Knighthood. Patrick Stewart of Star Trek and X-Men fame and Nicholas Hytner of the National Theater were dubbed “Sir” by Queen Elizabeth II in a ceremony marked by regal brilliance.  Though we’re not sure these two were more deserving of one Phil Collins when it comes to artistic accomplishment, we’re willing to forgo any undeserved mocking of their accomplishments, for they have not chosen to Knight themselves and cannot be faulted for having performed with such distinction so as to be nominated by admirers in governmental and royal positions of power.

That being said, the die has been cast and we here at One More Knight believe that the coast is now clear enough that further selections are due any time now to receive artistic honors wrapped in armor and chain mail and pronounced in one fell swoop of swordplay from an esteemed lady monarch.  We’re not exactly sure of the actual schedule for such declarations, but we know that when word does come down, we are confident it shall bear the name Phil Collins on a scroll of Magna Carta-esque parchment for all to read.

So we hereby plead with much reverence to both the Queen and the office of the Prime Minister, please make sure that it is so and LET’S GET PHIL COLLINS KNIGHTED!

A Little Phil Collins Goes A Long Way

May 14, 2010 1 comment

We here at “One More Knight” are pleased to announce that over the past twenty-four hours Phil Collins has gone viral. Unfortunately for us,it wasn’t our quest to get Phil knighted that captured the hearts and brief attention spans  of the world. Rather it was this video of the “Worst Wedding DJ EVER”:

Now we’ll be the first to admit, that without the audio excerpt of “In the Air Tonight” the video itself would be pretty funny if still accompanied by the conga line music. The audacity of the DJ in the breast-slapping department, though not necessarily our cup of tea (as our main comic interests lie mainly in high-brow humour), would in and of itself be grounds for uproarious laughter.

That being said, something magical happens when  Phil’s haunting masterpiece off his 1981 album Face Value replaces the wedding audio track so that his killer drum solo coincides with the actions of Stardust Entertainment’s resident mammary abuser. The video leaps into the stratosphere of comic timing and turns this ever-so-brief moment of ridiculousness into a classic web moment that will forever offer proof that just adding a little Phil Collins to the mix goes a long way.

We can only hope that those in the office of the Prime Minister get wise to this lesson imparted by the video editor when considering who to recommend for Knighthood.  Think about it Prime Minister Cameron; something magical is bound to happen when you add a little Phil Collins to the honourable rolls of the United Kingdom’s distinguished nobility. Your approval ratings will surely soar into the stratosphere just as adding Phil Collins’ music to that video sent it soaring into comedic legend.  What better way to ensure your spot in history as a beloved British Prime Minister than by turning up the volume with a little Phil Collins praise. We can feel it in the air tonight. Can you?

Cracking The Curious Case of Sir Phil Collins Missing Knighthood

If it wasn’t already apparent enough to the readers of this site, our undertaking to get Phil Collins knighted should all but assure you that we have entirely too much time on our hands. While the vast majority of that allotted under the “too much time” category is spent listening to the contents of great albums like No Jacket Required and Duke; we occasionally slide into research mode so that we have additional things to blog about on our Internet journey to make Phil Collins’ future a noble one.

Seeing as we had done little in the realm of research as to the actual process of becoming a knight, we decided to seek out some helpful information…and what better place to find such helpful information than the official website of the Monarchy you have been pressing to make your dream become a reality (Rhetorical Question: The answer is there is no place better)? Our academic yearning and intuitive link-clicking abilities ultimately led us to this video on the subject of investitures (a fancy way of saying a presentation of rank, which also includes Knighthood):

While we were delighted to learn ever-so-much on the subject of bestowing rank and honour upon deserving individual, we were quite troubled by a particular voice over passage contained within. It read as follows:

“Honours recognize achievement in all walks of life and are given on the advice of the Prime Minister’s office”

Needless to say, this line stopped us in our tracks. Not only were we barking up the wrong tree by lightly haranguing the Royal Family over the past month, but it also helped explain why so much time has passed without Phil Collins getting the slightest sniff at a Royal promotion. Over the last 13 years it was on the advice of Labour Party that those decisions were made and it was that very same party taking power that caused Mr. Collins to flee for Switzerland 13 years ago.

Now, with the Tories and David Cameron in control of investitures, we assume Phil to be all but a shoe-in for at least the vaunted position of Knight Commander of the British Empire (KBE).

In closing, we’d like to apologize to the Queen and her family for any annoyance we may have caused. We may still harangue you from time to time, but only because we are certain you still hold a good amount of sway when it comes to recommending those deserving such distinction as Phil Collins does.

Oh, and Prime Minister David Cameron, we entreat you to look our way. There’s a singer/drummer/pop master without his proper title.