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Posts Tagged ‘Sir Patrick Stewart’

The Coast Has Never Been Clearer

Yesterday the Kingdom of Britannia received the two newest members into its noble ranks of Knighthood. Patrick Stewart of Star Trek and X-Men fame and Nicholas Hytner of the National Theater were dubbed “Sir” by Queen Elizabeth II in a ceremony marked by regal brilliance.  Though we’re not sure these two were more deserving of one Phil Collins when it comes to artistic accomplishment, we’re willing to forgo any undeserved mocking of their accomplishments, for they have not chosen to Knight themselves and cannot be faulted for having performed with such distinction so as to be nominated by admirers in governmental and royal positions of power.

That being said, the die has been cast and we here at One More Knight believe that the coast is now clear enough that further selections are due any time now to receive artistic honors wrapped in armor and chain mail and pronounced in one fell swoop of swordplay from an esteemed lady monarch.  We’re not exactly sure of the actual schedule for such declarations, but we know that when word does come down, we are confident it shall bear the name Phil Collins on a scroll of Magna Carta-esque parchment for all to read.

So we hereby plead with much reverence to both the Queen and the office of the Prime Minister, please make sure that it is so and LET’S GET PHIL COLLINS KNIGHTED!

Let’s Get Phil Collins Knighted!

April 19, 2010 7 comments

Dear British Royal Family (The Windsors),

We here at “One More Knight” have bloomed into existence for one reason and one reason alone.  It is our purpose to correct the gross indignity that is the current state of the knighthood of one Philip David Charles Collins LVO.  It is with this open letter and moreover this entire blog that we loudly protest the fact that this esteemed musician and actor who has done so much to entertain the British masses and masses the world over throughout  the span of his forty-plus year career, has yet to be recognized with the honor of being allowed to insert the titular “Sir” prior to the invocation or inscription of his given name.

We are well aware that the “LVO” denotes the fact that Mr. Collins has been bestowed with the honour of being a Lieutenant of the Royal Victorian Order.  While we’re sure that is a position of great prestige, the fact of the matter is,  we believe someone of Mr. Collins stature deserves even greater recognition.

Would Look Better In Chain Mail

Has not Mr. Collins LVO displayed as much bravery in the arenas of acting and  pop/rock music as Sir Galahad the Chased exhibited when confronted with ” but eight score young blondes and brunettes all between the ages of 16 and 19 1/2″  at the Castle Anthrax?  Have you even heard  No Jacket Required or seen Buster? Certainly the 150 million-plus solo albums sold worldwide dwarf the accomplishments of one Sir Patrick Stewart.  What has that guy done except served as a fake space idol to a bunch of super nerds? And what about Sir Elton John? That guy didn’t even write the lyrics to his songs.  Sure we know he’s done a lot of charity work, but if you took a moment to listen to Phil’s drum work on Brian Eno’s Another Green World, you’d surely see our point.

It is our hope that through a full social media blitz (blogging, tweeting, Facebooking, and  incessant “Sussudioing“) not only will you, the British Royal family (or whomever is in charge of these things) realize the true “Face Value”of their favorite son, but in doing so you will agree to give him a royal upgrade by bestowing upon him the distinction of knighthood.

We thank you for your time and consideration and look forward to that sweet day when you  gently place that sword on Sir Collins’ shoulders while “Against All Odds” blares in the background.  Until then, you’ll be hearing from us and a rabid base of Phil Collins devotees with one message in solidarity, “Give us one more Knight.  And let that Knight’s name be Sir Phil Collins.”

Sincerely,
The Lords and Ladies of “One More Knight” and Phil Collins fans the world over.