Cracking The Curious Case of Sir Phil Collins Missing Knighthood

If it wasn’t already apparent enough to the readers of this site, our undertaking to get Phil Collins knighted should all but assure you that we have entirely too much time on our hands. While the vast majority of that allotted under the “too much time” category is spent listening to the contents of great albums like No Jacket Required and Duke; we occasionally slide into research mode so that we have additional things to blog about on our Internet journey to make Phil Collins’ future a noble one.

Seeing as we had done little in the realm of research as to the actual process of becoming a knight, we decided to seek out some helpful information…and what better place to find such helpful information than the official website of the Monarchy you have been pressing to make your dream become a reality (Rhetorical Question: The answer is there is no place better)? Our academic yearning and intuitive link-clicking abilities ultimately led us to this video on the subject of investitures (a fancy way of saying a presentation of rank, which also includes Knighthood):

While we were delighted to learn ever-so-much on the subject of bestowing rank and honour upon deserving individual, we were quite troubled by a particular voice over passage contained within. It read as follows:

“Honours recognize achievement in all walks of life and are given on the advice of the Prime Minister’s office”

Needless to say, this line stopped us in our tracks. Not only were we barking up the wrong tree by lightly haranguing the Royal Family over the past month, but it also helped explain why so much time has passed without Phil Collins getting the slightest sniff at a Royal promotion. Over the last 13 years it was on the advice of Labour Party that those decisions were made and it was that very same party taking power that caused Mr. Collins to flee for Switzerland 13 years ago.

Now, with the Tories and David Cameron in control of investitures, we assume Phil to be all but a shoe-in for at least the vaunted position of Knight Commander of the British Empire (KBE).

In closing, we’d like to apologize to the Queen and her family for any annoyance we may have caused. We may still harangue you from time to time, but only because we are certain you still hold a good amount of sway when it comes to recommending those deserving such distinction as Phil Collins does.

Oh, and Prime Minister David Cameron, we entreat you to look our way. There’s a singer/drummer/pop master without his proper title.

The Stage Is Set

Don’t be fooled by the title of our blog post, one day of our official e-mail campaign to get Phil Collins Knighted hasn’t yet begun to yield positive results.  That’s okay, we’re in for the long haul and we’re of the mind that slow and steady wins the race.

You may however recall that last week we mentioned the massive UK confusion over the General election. There were those who used Phil Collins as a deterrent to voting Tory assuming that the masses of Britons would recoil at the mention of the talented singer/songwriter/writer; advertising that a vote for the conservatives was a vote for a return of the Sussudio singer after a self-imposed 13 year exile in Switzerland brought on by Labour Party rule.

Phil Contemplates His UK Return

Well, after 13 years of John Major, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown and a charmed Swiss existence for Phil; the Labour party has fallen out of power after last week’s general election resulted in a hung parliament. Though the Tories garnered the most seats of any other party, they didn’t win enough seats to gain a majority and the power to pick a leader. This left Phil Collins status as a returning resident of the UK in limbo even though we may have assumed his return was imminent.  While Phil hasn’t made a declaration as to his citizenship status, today was an historic day as Tory Leader David Cameron was officially invited by the Queen to form a new government.

David Cameron: A Pawn in the Queen's Attempt Make Phil a Knight?

With the Queen’s invitation to the leader of the Conservative party to take power over the affairs of the United Kingdom, we can only assume that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II purposely put such an offer into play in order to ensure that the stage  was set for the return of Mr. Collins so that she may select him to receive the great honour due him; the honour of Knighthood.  So in order to entreat Mr. Collins to return to his rightful place in this world to receive that which he so truly deserves, we remind him of some great words he once uttered…”Take…Take me home.”